William Richert

Direct comparison of ‘President Elopes’ and ‘American President’

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,~ 9,

THIRD DRAFT REVISED 11/11/94 (blue)
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11/21/94 (pink) 11/30/~(yellow) 12/5/~ (green) 12/15/~ (goldenrod) 12/23/,2.L (buff) 1/3/~ (salmon) 1/4/95 (cherry) 1/5(9£!\(tan)
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
,
r
THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT
screenplay
by
Aaron Sorkin

1/11/~(2nd blue) 1/12/95 (2nd pink) 1/13~(2nd yellow) 1/13~ (2nd green) t> 1/:7~ (2nd goldenrod) 1/19~ (2nd buff) • , :_’.126/95″ (2nd salmon) ? n :’/10195 (2nd _cherr.i)· <:”‘
i.f 131]:S:. (2nd tan) .
- 129~(2nd White)
–~-Red’-=fA~1C-=D~ ________ _

4/3/95 (3rd blue) 4/5/95 (3rd pink)
THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 12/15/94
PADE IN:

1.

1

As the OPENING TITLES ROLL against a series of shots of statues and paintings of former presidents, we HEAR shards of dialogue from various presidential speeches.
MAIN TITLES END ON
2 EXT. BEAUTIFUL ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE WHITE HOUSE _ DAY 2
It’s an early November morning, and the sun has just come over this extraordinary building. WE HOLD on this a moment before we
CUT TO:

3

INT. A CORRIDOR IN THE RESIDENCE - DAY
A SECRET SERVICE AGENT presses the button by the private elevator as he talks into his shirt cuff.
AGENT COOPER Liberty’s moving.
Another AGENT rounds the corner into the corridor and is followed a step or two later by
PRESIDENT ANDREW BENJAMIN SHEPHERD

3

*

SHEPHERD’s walking with his personal assistant, JANIE, a shy, professional and incredibly efficient 25-year-old.
JANIE
The 10:l5 event’s been moved inside to the Indian Treaty Room.
SHEPHERD (to JANIE)
The 10:15 is American Fisheries?
JANIE
Yes, sir. They’re giving you a 200-pound halibut.
SHEPHERD
Janie, make a note. We need to schedule more events where somebody gives me a really big fish.
JANIE starts to make a note.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 12/15/94
JANIE
Yes, sir.
SHEPHERD Janie! I was kidding.
JANIE Of course, sir.
SHEPHERD
(to the AGENT at the elevator)
Hey, Cooper.
AGENT COOPER ‘Morning, Mr. President.

2.

SHEPHERD and JANIE enter the elevator. As the doors close ••.
JANIE
Mr. Rothschild asked to have a moment with you this morning.
SHEPHERD
Is he upset about the speech last night?
JANIE
He seemed concerned.
SHEPHERD
Well, it wouldn’t be a Monday morning unless Lewis was concerned about something I did Sunday night.
The elevator doors open, revealing LEWIS ROTHSCHILD. At 32, LEWIS is the President’s chief domestic policy advisor. It would appear that he averages about two hours sleep a night, though that doesn’t seem to slow him down.
LEWIS
You skipped the whole paragraph.
SHEPHERD (to JANIE)
And Monday morning it is.
LEWIS falls into the pace as the three of them head for the double doors leading to the South Lawn.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/11/94
LEWIS
“Americans can no longer afford to pretend that they live in a great society” ..• and then nothing. You dumped the whole handguns paragraph.
SHEPHERD
This is a time for prudence, Lewis.
LEWIS
That was the kick-ass section.

3.

*

The three of them are now OUTSIDE and making their way down the COVERED WALKWAY that runs from the East Wing to the West Wing.
SHEPHERD
I thought what with being the President and all …
LEWIS
Sir, of course I didn’t mean to imply–
SHEPHERD
I thought you’d be turning cartwheels this morning, Lewis–63 percent jOb approval.
LEWIS
That’s great news, sir, but •••
They walk past a GROUNDS KEEPER who’s at work at a patch of grass.
GROUNDS KEEPER ‘Morning, Mr. President.
Before he’s even completed the last syllable of the greeting, JANIE’s quickly and quietly said–
JANIE
Charlie.
SHEPHERD ‘Morning, Charlie.
LEWIS
Sir, the press is gonna need an explanation.
SHEPHERD
For what?

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/13/95

4 .

4

SHEPHERD, LEWIS and JANIE walk through the door being held open by an AGENT. The conversation continues as they make their way through the corridors of
INT. THE WEST WING - DAY

4

They walk quickly down a HALLWAY teeming with STAFFERS, AIDES and OFFICE WORKERS.
LEWIS
Because you dropped the kick-ass section, now we’ve got this thing hanging out there.
SHEPHERD
There’s a thing hanging out there?
LEWIS
“Americans can no longer afford to pretend that they live in a great society. II Then .•. nothing. No explanation. No context. So now it’s just this thing.
SHEPHERD
And it’s hanging out there?
LEWIS
Yes, sir.
SHEPHERD stops at an open doorway, calls to a STAFFER–
SHEPHERD
Maria–
STAFFER (MARIA) Good morning, sir.
SHEPHERD
Did they tell you I’m gonna need–
STAFFER (MARIA)
–overall consumer spending and not just first homes. Yes, sir. We’ll have it for you in 15 minutes.
SHEPHERD
Thanks.
SHEPHERD moves on. LEWIS and JANIE stay with him. *
5

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/11/94
LEWIS
Mr. President, I really feel we need to focus on ••.
SHEPHERD
Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
LEWIS
I don’t drink coffee.
SHEPHERD
Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?
Another STAFFER crosses their path–
JANIE
Happy birthday, Laura.
SHEPHERD
Hey, Laura, happy birthday.
STAFFER (LAURA) Thank you, sir.
Once out of earshot–
SHEPHERD (to JANIE)
I should send her some flowers.
JANIE
You already did, sir.
And, with that, they walk through a doorway and into
INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY

5.
5

In the OUTER OFFICE, MRS. CHAPIL, the President’s secretary, is hard at work on a word processor. She stands as SHEPHERD walks in–
MRS. CHAPIL
Good morning, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD How’re you, Mrs. Chapil?

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/11/94
MRS. CHAPIL
Fine, thank you, sir. Mr. Kodak left the detailed breakdown of the approval poll for you. He seemed to indicate that it was very good news.
SHEPHERD
Sixty-three percent of it, at any rate.

6.

And by now they’re in the OVAL OFFICE itself. SHEPHERD has gone to his desk and is looking over the various overnight briefing memos that have been left for him. As someone used to doing six things at once, he has no trouble reading, listening, and talking at the same time.
MRS. CHAPIL
Lucy just called a moment ago. You forgot to sign her permission slip for her class–
JANIE
–the museum trip. I’ll go get it.
SHEPHERD (to JANIE)
What time does she get home today?
JANIE Three-twenty.
SHEPHERD How’s my afternoon?
JANIE Very crowded.
SHEPHERD
Schedule some time for me at 3:30.
WOMAN (0. S. )
Buenos dias, Senor Presidente.
This from ROBIN McCALL, a strikingly tall black woman and the President’s press secretary, as she strides into the room.
SHEPHERD
Too-tall McCall, how was Mexico?
ROBIN
I didn’t truly appreciate it until I came back and discovered that America isn’t a great society.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
LEWIS (to ROBIN)
He dumped a whole section.
SHEPHERD
Now there’s a thing hanging out there.
ROBIN
Not a great society, sir?
SHEPHERD
Well, with you out of the country, it wasn’t, Robin. Now that you’re back, we’re great again.
ROBIN
There’s a press room full of people saying “What did he mean by that?”
LEWIS
See?
SHEPHERD
(re: a memo he’s been looking at)
A.J. did you get one of these?

7.

This is said to A.J. MACINERNEY as he walks through a separate entrance on the left side of the room. In addition to being the President’s Chief of Staff and closest advisor, he’s the President’s closest and oldest friend.
A.J.
Is that the letter from Solomon at the GDC?
SHEPHERD
It would appear to be a letter from the entire environmental community. These people are outa control.
A.J.
I think they’re just frustrated, Mr. President.
ROBIN
Are they blaming the President for global warming?
A.J.
Well, they don’t think he caused it, if that’s what you mean.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/30/94
A.J. (continuing; to
SHEPHERD)
Sir, I’m on the phone with these people twice a week. I honestly don’t know what they want at this point.
LEWIS
They want a 20 percent reduction in fossil fuel emissions.
A.J.
It won’t pass at 20 percent.
LEWIS
We haven’t really tried.
A.J.
Lewis, MCSorley, McCluskey and Shane hold too many markers. If we try to push this through and lose, there will be a very loud thud when we hit the ground, and that’s not what you want in an election year.
SHEPHERD
Talk to the GDC again, A.J. Tell them the President resents the implication that he’s turned his back on the environment. Tell them I will send 455 to the floor. But we’re gonna ask for a 10 percent reduction. If they want to pull their support, fine. At 63 percent job approval, I don’t need their help getting a bill passed. We gotta get going–where’s Leon?
A.J.
(to an AIDE)
Would you call Mr. Kodak and tell him the President’s–
A.J.’s sentence is cut short by the sound of a head-on pedestrian collision in the outer office–

8*.

Aaagh!

MRS. CHAPIL (o.s.)

KODAK (o.S.) Sorry! Sorry, my fault.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/30/94
A.J.
(to the AIDE) Never mind.

SA*.

LEON KODAK comes into the Oval Office. The White House pollster is a likable, if clumsy, numbers whiz. He, along with A.J., LEWIS, and ROBIN, are regarded as the President’s Starting Team. The people in this room have grown very close over the past few years.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/10/95
KODAK
Excuse me. Good morning, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD You all right?
KODAK
They keep moving that big ficus plant.
A.J.
We’re all here, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD
Okay, first I want to say congratulations. Three years ago, we were elected to the White House by one of the narrowest margins in history, and today Kodak tells us that 63 percent of registered voters think we’re doing a good jOb.
KODAK
Wait a second. You wanted me to poll registered voters?
Everyone LAUGHS … even SHEPHERD smiles …
SHEPHERD
But the poll also tells us what we already knew: We don’t get this crime bill of ours through Congress and these numbers are gonna be a memory. So, starting today, we’re shifting it into gear.
ROBIN
Can I tell my morning press gaggle that gun control–

9. *

A.J.
Crime control, Robin. means we’re wimps and crime.
LEWIS
Hang on, are we not–
A.J.
Lewis–

Gun control we’re soft on

LEWIS
Are we not putting back the handgun restrictions?!

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
A.J.
We’re leaving ‘em out.
LEWIS
Sir, we campaigned on this issue. Now, I understand we took it out when we were in the low forties, but we can push it through now.
SHEPHERD After the election.

LEWIS Sir, we may never like this again. percent out for a it can do.

have an opportunity Let’s take this 63 spin and see what

SHEPHERD
We can’t take it out for a spin, Lewis. We need it to get re-elected. For reasons passing understanding, people do not relate guns to gun­related crime.
A.J.
Robin, you can brief the press this afternoon. As of today, the crime bill’s priority one on the President’s domestic agenda.
ROBIN
Got it.
A.J.
Leon, you’re gonna run the war room. We’re gonna need detailed projections for the target districts before the end of the week. And, Leon, don’t be a nice sweet guy from Brooklyn. Do what the N.R.A. does.
KODAK
Scare the hell out of ‘em?
A.J.
Yeah.
KODAK I can do that.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
A.J.
Lewis, we want you to be legislative liaison on this. You’re gonna run the show on the hill.
LEWIS
Can I just say, to return to the subject for one moment, that it might be easier to fight a war on drugs if we weren’t arming drug dealers.

9B.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/30/94

10*.

SHEPHERD responds a little too quickly–we see a spark of a temper.
SHEPHERD
Lewis, we’ve gotta fight the fights we can win.
LEWIS
Yes, sir.
A.J.
We want to announce the crime bill at the State of the Union, which is 72 days from today. The last nose count put us 18 votes short.
SHEPHERD
Eighteen votes in 72 days. Thank you, everyone. Janie, what’s next?
The meeting’s over. LEWIS, ROBIN, and KODAK say their “Thank you, Mr. President”’s as they exit.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/12/95
JANIE Security briefing, sir.

CUT TO:

11.

6 EXT. THE WASHINGTON BUSINESS DISTRICT - DAY - ESTABLISHING 6
It’s around ten o’clock the same morning as the capital District, in its own way, is showing signs of the approaching Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

7

EXT. - A CHROME AND GLASS BUILDING - DAY
On the seventh floor of the building. A RECEPTIONIST tells us where we are by answering the phone–
RECEPTIONIST (V.o.) (into phone)
Global Defense Council …
SUSAN (V. o. ) You wanted to see me?
LEO (V. o. )
I just got off the phone with A.J. MacInerney.
CUT TO:

8

INT. LEO SOLOMON’S OFFICE - DAY
LEO, a white-haired man in his early 60’s is meeting with SUSAN SLOAN, a 40′ish lawyer who seems to go out of her way to create an issue where none exists.
SUSAN
Did the President read the letter?
LEO
The President’s pissed as hell,
Susan. That letter was a stupid move.
SUSAN
It was aggressive, and we should stand by every–

8

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/12/95

l1A*.

LEO
This isn’t the guy years ago, Susan. popular.
(more)

who needed us four He’s incredibly
9

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/11/95
LEO (cont’d)
He’s gonna win re-election in a walk, and he could give a shit what we stand by! If the President passes the most important piece of environmental legislation in history, and does it despite our negative endorsement, our political weight in the future will rank somewhere below the Save the Spotted Owl Society.
(beat)
I’m bringing in some help.
SUSAN
We don’t need another environmental expert to confirm what every other environmental expert–
LEO
Not an environmental expert, a professional political strategist. We’re playing hardball with Andrew Shepherd, and we need a heavy bat.
SUSAN
Who?
LEO Sydney Ellen Wade.
SUSAN
Oh Christ. That woman doesn’t know the first thing about the environmental lobby.
LEO
She’s a closer, Susan. She gets the jOb done.
CUT TO:
INT. THE OVAL OPPICE - DAY
SHEPHERD and LEWIS - working on a speech.
SHEPHERD
Try it like this and lose that.
ROBIN
(entering)
David Sasser from the Times called and wanted to know what the White House felt was a great society.

12

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
LEWIS
What did you tell him?
ROBIN
I told him I couldn’t speak for the President, but for my money: Bermuda.
LEWIS
Perfect.

12ATHE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
JANIE steps in–
JANIE
Mr. President, your cousin Judith’s come down with the flu and won’t be able to join you Thursday night.
SHEPHERD
That’s too bad. Remind me to give her a call later.
JANIE
Yes, sir.
ROBIN You gonna go stag?
SHEPHERD That’s not a problem.
ROBIN
No. We’ve never gone wrong parading you around as the lonely widower.
The words came out casually, but they instantly freeze everyone.
ROBIN (continuing) My God.
(beat)
I can’t believe I said that.
(beat)
Mr. President, that was an incredibly thoughtless remark. I would never dream of insulting you or the memory of your wife.
SHEPHERD That’s okay, forget it. (to JANIE)
What time is it?
JANIE It’s 3:45, sir.
SHEPHERD
I’m gonna go over and say hi to Lucy.

13.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/30/94
SHEPHERD A little gift.
LUCY
Is it a dirt bike?
SHEPHERD
Nope.
He hands her an old textbook …
LUCY
Is it a really old seventh-grade textbook of yours that you’re gonna make me read cover to cover and discuss at dinner and drive me crazy with?
SHEPHERD
(beat)
I’m not comfortable with the “really old” part, but everything else you said was true.
LUCY
(reading the cover) “Understanding the Constitution.”
SHEPHERD
Your social studies teacher said your class would be starting on the Constitution this week.
LUCY
You talked to Mr. Linder?
SHEPHERD
Yes. It’s called a Parent-Teacher Conference. Mr. Linder and I were the key players in that discussion. Why don’t you like social studies, Luce?
LUCY
I like it fine, Dad.
SHEPHERD
All your other teachers say you’re happy, you’re enthusiastic, YOu’ve always got your hand up … Mr. Linder says you don’t participate unless he calls on you, and even then it’s a one-word answer.

15.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 3/10/95
LUCY
I don’t know what to say, Dad. I guess I’m just not … I don’t know.
SHEPHERD
Luce, take a look at this book. This is exciting stuff. It.’ s about who we are and what we want. Read what it says on the first page.
LUCY (reading)
“Property of Gilmore Junior High School.”
SHEPHERD The next page.
LUCY
(reading)
“We the People, of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union …
SHEPHERD
See? Grabs you right off the bat. It’s a page-turner.
LUCY I can’t wait.
SHEPHERD
Good, ’cause it’s possible the subject just might come up at dinner tonight.
LUCY
Do you see it as part of your jOb to torture me?
SHEPHERD
No, it’s just one of the perks. See you tonight.

16.

He gives her a kiss on the head and heads out the door. Behind him, he hears Lucy’s rendition of “Hail to the Chief.” SHEPHERD shoots her a look as we
CUT TO:

12

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/11/95
INT. CABINET ROOM - NIGHT

17.

12

Where SHEPHERD is finishing a meeting with the DEFENSE SECRETARY, CHAIRMAN OF THE JOINT CHIEFS, and a NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR, each of whom is accompanied by at least one DEPUTY or AIDE. A.J. is also present.
DEFENSE SECRETARY
The C-STAD hardware’s been in place for a month. We’ve got 22 instructors from the Army Air Defense School waiting to go down and train the Israelis.
A.J.
How soon can you deploy them?
CHAIRMAN
We can airlift ‘em in the morning. They’ll have C-STAD operational in 20 days.
A.J.
Any security concerns?
SECURITY ADVISOR
If anybody wanted to hit it, they’d have hit it by now.
SHEPHERD
Okay, let’s move on it. Thank you, gentlemen.
SHEPHERD and A.J. leave the Cabinet room amidst a volley of “good-bye”’s and “Thank you, Mr. President”’s.
They pass MRS. CHAPIL and JANIE.
SHEPHERD (continuing)
Have a good evening, Mrs. Chapil.
MRS. CHAPIL You too, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD starts his walk from the WEST WING back to the residence.
It is the exact reverse of the path he took to the OVAL OFFICE in the morning.
SHEPHERD
I’ll see you in the morning, Janie.

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 1/3/95
JANIE
You will, M+. President.
A SECRET SERVICE AGENT follows at a distance.
AGENT #2 (sotto) Liberty is moving.
A.J.
Leo Solomon brought in a hired gun at the GDC.
SHEPHERD It’s about time.
A.J:
She’s a lawyer from Virginia named Sydney Ellen Wade. I know this woman well. She’s had a lot of success getting congressmen elected.
SHEPHERD
Maybe we should try to steal her. Ten percent, A.J. Don’t let them leave the room till they’re clear about that.
A.J.
You know, if you’ve·got a free second, maybe you could stop in and say hello. It might smooth the way.
SHEPHERD Mention it to Janie.
A.J.
Good.
SHEPHERD
Then let’s clear this off the table and gat everybody focused on the crime bill. I don’t want to just win this. I want to win it by a couple of touchdowns.
A.J.
We will, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD
Good.
A.J. starts to leave. SHEPHERD stops him.

18.
13

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 12/23/94
SHEPHERD (continuing)
A.J.?
A.J.
Yes?
SHEPHERD
Listen, Robin said something to me today that I’m sure she wouldn’t have said if •.• I mean, she wasn’t saying it to me, I realize ••.
(beat)
Ah, never mind. Have a good night.
A.J.
Good night, Mr. President.
SHEPHERD
A.J., when we’re out of the office
and we’re alone, you can call me Andy.
A.J.
I beg your pardon?
SHEPHERD
I mean you were best man at my wedding, for cryin’ out loud. Call me Andy.
A.J.
(laughing off the suggestion)
Whatever you say, Mr. President.
They have reached the south entrance to the White House.
A.J .’ (continuing) Have a good night, sir.
SHEPHERD Good night, A.J.
SHEPHERD enters the White House.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE WHITE HOOSE - NIGHT
DISSOLVE TO:

19.
13 15

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT ll/30/94
EXT. THE WHITE HOOSE - DAY
It’s early morning of the following day, and the grounds outside are in full swing.
EXT. THE NORTHWEST EXECOTIVE ENTRANCE _ DAY
In front of the guardhouse, SUSAN and her new colleague, SYDNEY ELLEN WADE, are being cleared.
SYDNEY
(to the GUARD)
Hi, my name’s Sydney Ellen Wade.

19A*.
14
15

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT 11/11/94
SUSAN
He just needs your driver’s license.
SUSAN hands the guard her license.
SYDNEY (handing him her license)
I’m from Virginia.
SUSAN He doesn’t care.
SYDNEY
(to the GUARD)
I’m here for a meeting with Mr. MacInerney.
SUSAN
He doesn’t need to know that.
The GUARD BUZZES her through the gate.
SYDNEY
(to the GUARD)
Forgive me, this is my first time at the White House. I’m trying to savor the Capra-esque quality.
SUSAN
He doesn’t know what Capra-esque means.
GUARD
(to SUSAN)
Yeah I do. Frank Capra, great American director–It’s ~ Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to
Washington.
(handing SYDNEY and SUSAN their laminated passes)
Sydney Ellen Wade of Virginia. Knock ‘em dead.
SYDNEY
Thanks.
SYDNEY and SUSAN begin the walk up the path toward the entrance to the West Wing.
CUT TO:

20.

*

EXT. WHITE HOUSE SOUTH LAWN. EXECUTIVE WING. DAY. ,
The cherry trees show tiny naked green buds of spring. A squirrel drops down in front of an office suite.
INT. BUSTER SOLVANG’S INNER OFFICE. DAY.
BUSTER SOLVANG, the White House Chief of Staff, is standing behind his desk on the phone, nervously fiddling with the Phi Beta Kappa pin on his ivy league tie. He’s talking to his wife.
SOLVANG
(into phone)
No — I want to use the station wagon. No, I don’t care how much room — .
Solvang glances across the room at a Ralph Nader lookalike, JOE NOVAK, of the Washington Post. During the interruption, Novak has picked up a sculpture made of a soft white plastic from the’ coffee table.
SOLVANG (cups receiver; calls over)
That’s called a soft sculpture interactive pUZZle-thing. Put your finger somewhere. See how it feels.
Novak puts first one finger from his right hand into the sculpture, then puts a finger from his left hand into the sculpture. Makes him smile.
SOLVANG
(turns to face the window, the south lawn stretching far away in front of him)
Honey — HONEY — it’s a tailgate party, bottom line, and the convertible doesn’t have a tailgate, bottom line.
(calls to Novak)
You can put all ten fingers into it.
THE PUZZLE: The Journalist puts all ten fingers into the material, as into swiss cheese.
She exits worriedly.
SOLVANG
(into phone; hurriedly) Call you back, use the station wagon.
(hangs up; to Novak) Great toy, huh?
NOVAK
I wondered what you guys do to practice sleight-of-hand SOLVANG (into phone)
Mr. President –
A PAUSE: Solvang turns slightly. Novak is watching him closely intent on each word at the mention of “Mr. President.”
SOLVANG
(on phone)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Sure, of course. No problem. No problem. No-just a — just a family reunion. No problem. My family’ll be around a lot longer than this Friday afternoon, won’t it?
Smiles sheepishly over at Novak, thinking he’s said something inane.
Novak looks back at him, his eyes journalistic computer lenses.
NOVAK’S FINGERS: In the plastic sculpture.
Solvang sets back the phone, turns, starts to pick up his golf irons, then mechanically sets them back — one more meeting to do.
“He crosses towards the outer door, calling to Secretary.
SOLVANG
I’m walking over to the EOB, so just hang for a little while, okay Julia?
JULIA (V .0.)
Where?
SOLVANG
The Executive Office Building –
NOVAK (rises)
The President’s at the EOB?
SOLVANG
Nothing newsworthy — He’s got some thoughts he wants to talk to me about.
NOVAK
The last time he retired to the EOB
SOLVANG (patient)
He’s not retired anyplace; he’s just using his other office ’cause it’s quieter –.
NOVAK
On a Friday afternoon? In Washington? In the Spring?
Solvang starts to shake his hand, then notices that Novak is caught up in the sculpture.
Novak looks down at his hands which seem stuck together in it. He pulls. The fingers get stuck tighter.
SOLVANG
Shows what happens you go poking around in the wrong places –
Pats Novak on the back.
NOVAK
I hate practical jokes, you know that.
SOLVANG
I gotta run — Julia’ll help you out — unless you want to wait till I get back.
He leaves the room. Novak looks after him, disbelieving. Julia enters.
JULIA
Help you out of what?
Novak stares at her well-scrubbed face with foreboding.
EXT. WHITE HOUSE. DAY.
While Solvang crosses the South Lawn, Press Secretary CYRUS WELBY and CRISPIN HOVERMANN of the National Security Council are converging with him from another part of the White House.
HIGH ABOVE: A machine gun nest, surrounded on three sides by thick glass, looks down on them. Rarely photographed for reasons of national security, the Marines stare down like Peregrine falcons.
BELOW THEM: Solvang hurries to catch up with the others as they approach Security.
CYRUS
(to Hovermann)
Why always Fridays? Is there a law someplace that a crisis must occur on the first non-rainy weekend in April?
HOVERMANN
He won’t keep us long, I’m sure.
SOLVANG (catching up; out of breath)
Well, I guess this must be Friday
The two turn to him.
CYRUS
(glum)
I can’t complain. I see Marge so seldom now we’re starting to write love memos to each other. She’s learning how to spell along with the kids.
CYRUS (to Solvang)
You know what it’s about?
SOLVANG
(his mysterious smile; an enigmatic know-it-all meaning he knows absolutely nothing)
Of course.
HOVERMANN
Buster, do you realize how unbelievably transparent you are sometimes?
SOLVANG Keeps me honest.
The three men step up to the Security Guard, open their jackets to show their picture IDs on their shirts, though their faces are familiar to millions.
The Sergeant lets them through and they head along the walkway to the Executive Office Building opposite the White House.
INT. PRESIDENT’S QUARTERS. EXECUTIVE OFFICE BUILDING. DAY.
Two rather modest adjoining rooms constitute the little-known “other” office allotted the President in the building designed in 1916 to accommodate the growing White House staff.
One of the rooms is like a library, books and papers strewn about, over and under the coffee table, as if a graduate student were at work.
In the other room is an enormous desk, an elaborate telephone console, a map of the world on one entire wall — and, on the other three walls, hand-drawn cartoon caricatures of President Sam Anderson collected and framed from a twenty-year political life.
Here is SAM now, sitting at his desk, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of him, almost as if making an address from a teleprompter.
‘HE’S WATCHING: A caricature of himself, riding a Tomahawk missile, it sticking penis-like from between his legs like a wick with a candle being ignited by a match which reads like Lewis Carroll: “LIGHT ME.”
HIS FACE: Impassive, his eyes move.
SECOND CARICATURE: It’s him twenty years ago from the Hawthorne Star.
He’s got a youthful grin and a glass of wine at a spiffy table in the drawing — but his plate is a small bale of hay and the caption reads: “LET THEM EAT STRAW?”
SAM’S EYES: Switch again as Solvang, Hovermann and Cyrus enter the doorway, followed by a MARINE SERGEANT. Seeing them acknowledged by the President’s glance, the Marine steps out.
SOLVANG Mr. President –
Greetings are rather formally exchanged. Cyrus looks around excitedly.
CYRUS
I heard you had these, Mr. President — but wow — you’ve really got to have a sense of humor to take some of these in
(sudden thought)
If we could only get that across to the voters –
He stops, frozen by the looks from the President and the others to each other.
SAM ANDERSON
Now they don’t think I’ve got a sense of humor? Have we polled them on that?
CYRUS Not exactly.
Silence.
Sam Anderson motions toward the sofa, made of horsehair, once belonging to Teddy Roosevelt, the hair being from one of his own horses (not to be mentioned or referred to).
The three sit like dominoes.
SAM ANDERSON (SLOW SMILE)
I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you here.
Shrugs, half-responses.
SAM ANDERSON
To put you at ease, I’m not at all asking you here for the same reason I asked you here last March. I’ve come to this office — to — do some research.
SOLVANG Research, Mister President?
SAM ANDERSON
I mean I’ve finished my research,
and I’m prepared to make a statement. Not a statement, a –
He feels awkward, and they feel awkward, as he struggles with something. Now he drops his eyes to the desk.
ON THE DESK: Are copies of magazines we’ve seen earlier, the Newsweek cover showing Sam with two profiles of himself, nose to nose, the caption reading: “ANDERSON VS. ANDERSON.”
NATIONAL REVIEW: “WANTED, SINCERE PRESIDENTIAL APPLICANT FOR NATIONAL PARTY.” And below: “APPLY B. SOLVANG, l600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.”
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR: “THOUGH WE LIKE HIM, DOES HE LIKE US? SAM ANDERSON: THE PEOPLE’S DILEMMA.”
TIME MAGAZINE:
Sam holds up the cover like a magazine salesman.
SAM ANDERSON
Look at this. What do you see?
I mean, pretend you’ve never seen it before, what do you see?
Silence.
SOLVANG
We’ve seen it in poster shops already, I don’t know what you mean, Mr. President
CYRUS (cheerily)
The plus side is that the lotus represents enlightenment - They all look at him.
CYRUS (soberly)
In the Buddhist religion.
(to his couch companions) My wife studies Yoga. Forget it.
Sam Anderson looks at him.
SAM ANDERSON
Maybe.
He points to the TIME magazine cover.
SAM ANDERSON
Y’see, I only got here three years and four months ago. But the earth which produces these scenes has existed for millenia — our country didn’t just snap its fingers into existing in its present state — my God, it’s been over a hundred forty years since we fought a civil war here! Republics do not exist in the same way after a civil war Lincoln, one of our greatest Presidents, dressed like an undertaker and was an undertaker to some degree of the Founding Fathers’ fundamental dream of uniting — of unity –
THE MEN ON THE COUCH: stare at him, sideways glancing at each other: What’s he talking about?
SAM ANDERSON
Don’t you see — what Disraeli said is true — in a democracy, you don’t govern, you just hang on that’s the difference between us
and them supposedly: that I cannot order this to be an “absolutely law-abiding country” or an absolutely anything — a homeless-less country — that’s not my job! That’s THEIR JOB! I only work here, goddamn it! I’m not creating hell! Jesus–
I wonder if I’m creating anything at all!
CYRUS (rising)
Mr. President, not one American
SAM ANDERSON
Sit down Cyrus, I never thought I was creating hell, or raising hell or even going to hell. The point is — what is the point? The point is –
THE CARICATURES ON THE WALL: Showing the scope of his life.
SAM ANDERSON
I look at myself on these walls in these newspapers and magazines — I look at myself, and what do I see? What do I see?
HOVERMANN
You’re asking us to venture an opinion as to what you’re seeing, Mr. President, which none of us are equipped or in fact responsible enough to do. It would be hearsay.
SAM ANDERSON
Cyrus, as press secretary you’re a master of hearsay. What do I see?
CYRUS
Well, objectively, some really excellent political cartooning. I’d certainly love to have one on my walls, I tell you.
SAM ANDERSON
I never realized till this moment just how slippery you really are, Cyrus — not a criticism. Which one would you like?
CYRUS
Really, Mister President But Sam has already risen, is crossing to the wall and then he reaches up and takes the caricature of himself on the Tomahawk missile.
SAM ANDERSON How about this one?
CYRUS
(reddens)
Mr. President, really –.
Sam walks over, hands it to him, Cyrus takes it proudly.
SAM ANDERSON
And myself? Am I real, or am I a caricature? If I am cut, do I not bleed?
He looks at them, pulls out his reading glasses, glances at a Washington Post.
SAM ANDERSON
According to the Washington Post, if I am cut, I do not bleed. My opponent apparently bleeds better than I do. I am smart, but bloodless, right? Is that right?
THE THREE: Don’t know what to say.
SOLVANG
Mister President, that’s asking in the “when did you stop beating your wife” category. We know you’re not bloodless, that if you are cut you will indeed bleed.
SAM ANDERSON
Oh. Good But if they ever caught me bleeding, it wouldn’t show up well in the polls would it? Weakness?
CYRUS
You are strong in the polls as we’ve said again and again
SOLVANG
But they want to know when you’re” going to announce, Mister President. Your uncertainty is creating uncertainty –
CYRUS
Exactly. Hence the falling polls.
SOLVANG
The National Committee spent three million on a televised campaign which we
(tactful)
Derailed at your request, even though you looked like a gosh-darned movie star-ecologist-commander-in chief trout fisherman –
SAM ANDERSON
It was so sweet when I watched it my teeth ached. If I’m that saccharine the country is better off with sweet’n low He swings his chair back.
SAM ANDERSON
(pressing arms on armrest) Love this chair. Teddy Roosevelt sat here. Big elephant killer, old Teddy — a big, big game hunter, warrior — a lot easier to portray certainty back then, fellas, when certainty was a factor in human life. And the planet still had elephants. When men as boys took jobs for life, wives for life, religions for life –
(sighs, gets up; looks around) Where’s that article?
CYRUS May I help you sir?
SAM ANDERSON
The one calling Solvang and Hovermann the S&H stamp boys
HOVERMANN (upset)
Mr. President –
SOLVANG (protesting) Mr. President –
Sam searches through another stack of papers.
SAM ANDERSON
If you fellas made all the decisions they think you make
HOVERMANN
These are common political accusations that you’ve already put aside I’m sure –
He spins to them.
II
SAM ANDERSON Hell, I know who makes the decisions here — what’s interesting is that you don’t know that. And until this point in time it hasn’t interested me whether you do influence me or you don’t influence me or even who thinks you do or don’t — The crisis of my Presidency
IS BECOMING CLEAR TO ME AS A
”
personal crisis. It’s my mandate to represent the will of the people — but how can I do that without a will of my own? I have not announced a second term campaign because I’ve barely started what I said I’d do in my FIRST campaign. No. Y’see, I can’t and would not presume to change the Presidency — though I might find additional tributaries of information other than your three singular offices
THE THREE MEN FEEL THE SAME CHILL.
SAM ANDERSON
But I can and must change the life of Sam Anderson. What’s the NASA term? Point of No Recall? I’m at Point of No Recall. I’m an American in the thick of this like everybody else. But when I look at all these articles, I see a man alone. And now for the first time in my life, I feel like a man alone.
HOVERMANN
That’s understandable, you lost your wife.
SAM ANDERSON
Yes. But being the workaholic that I am, I wasn’t aware of how much I needed her, how much I had loved her He pauses in his intensity, then a faint smile appears on his face at:
WHAT HE SEES: The three men, like heirs fearing to learn the estate is bankrupt.
SAM ANDERSON
As I say, I didn’t realize how much I loved her until I fell in love again.
THE MEN: Unsure if this is better or worse than the worst they’d expected.
HOVERMANN
I beg your pardon, Mister President?
SAM ANDERSON
I said I’ve fallen in love, and it’s changed my life.
SOLVANG
You saying you’re in love?
HOVERMANN You’ve fallen in love?
CYRUS
Well, let me shake your hand, Mister President –
He starts to cross, the President mildly holds his hand up stopping him.
SAM ANDERSON
There’s more — which my instinct tells me will put an end to the POMP OP PIMP sort of thing that “Spy” wrote about you guys HOVERMANN That nonsense — ?
SAM ANDERSON
Anyway, you won’t need to set me up anymore — because I’m setting myself up — for the big one.
SOLVANG
(quietly, a eureka)
You’re getting married. You have fallen in love and you’re getting married.
Sam looks at him expressionlessly, then turns and the others turn to see that PETER has entered the room with MIKE, his Secret Service Bodyguard. Peter carries a large shopping bag.
L3
SAM ANDERSON Peter was the first to know. He’s my accomplice.
PETER
I got the stuff, Dad.
SAM ANDERSON Bring it here, Son.
Peter crosses to the desk; Sam takes the bag and sets Peter in his own chair.
SAM ANDERSON
Sit down, Peter. I am starting my educational reform this very moment with my own son. White House Politics lOl.
THE THREE ADVISORS: Just gape at the President Solvang is the first to speak.
SOLVANG
God, I feel like I’m on the thirty-yard line at the Army Navy game and the quarterback just as he’s about to get nailed, spins out and simply
HOVERMANN
Once again the old Sam Anderson, Mister President. Brilliant.
CYRUS
If God were to make an angelic visitation on a poor press secretary and grant any wish on earth or heaven, it would be a White House wedding followed by an announcement from the oval office: I shall run again. WE shall be with you a second turn.
(holds out his hand, looks at the hairs on it)
The hair stands up.
SOLVANG Breathtaking, Mister President.
CYRUS
Chestnut’s out of the fire.
SAM ANDERSON Nobody wants to know who the lady is?
They ALL assent they do.
SAM ANDERSON
(proudly)
Catherine Crighton.
SOLVANG
(mouths the words)
Catherine Crighton HOVERMANN (snaps fingers)
Senator Crighton’s wife!
From their dizzy height, the same thought fells them together, their expressions shattering like plaster.
HOVERMANN A married woman?
SOLVANG Somebody’s wife?
CYRUS
No — no! Hold it, she’s not married any more — It was annulled, they just kept on living together — she’s not married any more!
HOVERMANN
A divorced female? In an election year? Good God –
CYRUS
No - the Blue Chip woman! She’s a hero — she turned down the Oprah Winfrey show, I know, they asked me where to find her!
God, I know where to find her! She lives — get this — at Mount Rushmore!!
He blows a kiss heavenward.
CYRUS
Excuse me Mister President, it’s been a long dry spell for us all in the romance department — the whole country will be with you
SOLVANG The whole planet.
HOVERMANN
Camelot.
SAM ANDERSON
Forget Camelot. If this were Camelot, I could just go down to the Senate floor, lop off a couple of heads with my Excaliber and ride back to the castle with my enemies’ wives and daughters in a wooden wagon
CYRUS
Wooden wagon! You’ll have the longest wedding procession since since — Damn, where’s research when you need them.
(checks watch)
Anyway, we’ll know before you announce it.
SOLVANG
When do you plan to announce the date?
CYRUS
Don’t say June, I’m liable to do something indecent –
SAM ANDERSON
Well there’s the rub, of course I can’t announce a date just yet because she’s not — in point of fact -; agreed to marry me. Just yet.
SOLVANG She’s not said yes?
SAM ANDERSON I haven’t asked her.
CYRUS Well then when — ?
He hesitates, glances at the others, unsure whether it’s his place to advance this particular question.
SAM ANDERSON
I’m going to ask her tomorrow.
THE MEN: Going from precipice to precipice with their President, hanging on
CYRUS
Tomorrow? But you aren’t seeing her tomorrow, she’s not on the calendar — oh, my God, I get it — the telephone! Not so romantic, you should see her in person.
I mean, preferably.
SAM ANDERSON
I am seeing her in person.
CYRUS
So she is coming here.
SAM ANDERSON No, I’m going there.
SOLVANG
You’re going there? Nobody told me this. I scheduled a Potomac weekend, not that I care, but I still feel –
SAM ANDERSON
You were not misinformed. I’ve just decided to get on a plane and go find out if Catherine wants to get hitched.
(to Peter)
Were you able to get everything?
PETER
I even got you an earring, like Billy Idol’s.
THE MEN: Once again thrown into hellish confusion at the mention of an almost-familiar but certainly iffy name, now watch with dead intensity ss the President removes several bags of false moustaches in cellophane bags, along with a ” cheap western hat and dark glasses.
Somewhat deliberately, he unwraps the cellophane packs and arranges the false moustaches, eyelashes and sideburns along the highly polished table.
The men stare at him, thinking fathomless thoughts.
SAM ANDERSON (reaches into pocket, as he continues) Here’s my itinerary.
Hovermann reaches for it, but Solvang intercepts. A not-too-subtle cluck in the pecking order. Sam glances sideways at Peter, who nods imperceptibly; he got it.
SOLVANG
(looks it up and down) This — this is just a piece of paper. It’s not an itinerary. An itinerary’s eighty-eight pages.
SAM ANDERSON
Jefferson kept a week’s schedule in his back pocket. That’s merely an airline schedule — I had Walter Eichenhard book it through his office. Except for him, and you in this room, the need to know has ended.
SOLVANG
You’d better look at this He hands the paper to Hovermann.
HOVERMANN
(looks at paper)
Mr. President — here I see WaShington, Chicago, Rapid City this is a long way to a straight line — plus booking the support staff on commercial airlines with so many stops –
SOLVANG
A commercial airline is just too expensive — I mean, we could try to justify it but — GAO is so effing testy lately –
SAM ANDERSON
(as he applies a sideburn to his head, using the polished desk as a mirror) I’m not billing it to the government. I’m paying my own way.
CYRUS
(this perhaps the most shocking of all)
Pay your own way!
SAM ANDERSON
The ticket’s only fourteen hunded dollars - first class.
SOLVANG FOURTEEN HUNDRED -
(turns the paper over as if trying to decipher it) This is for only one person.
SAM ANDERSON Only one person is going.
PETER
Right on.
HOVERMANN
Mister President, you can’t really go as one person, only one person.
SAM ANDERSON Who says I can’t?
HOVERMANN (laughs)
Wull - wull — Mister President, are we returning to the sixties?
The President cocks his head slightly, thinking about it, fastening his sideburns. Cyrus watches him intently.
CYRUS
May I inquire as to your present activity, Mister President?
HOVERMANN
Putting together the romantic implications of your decision to ask this woman to marry you, additionally the fact you are presently applying some form of disguise, I might suggest I suspect a rather serious course of action on your part to which careful consideration must be placed, though presumably
SOLVANG
Are you really attempting this, Mister President?
CYRUS
You wouldn’t want to be perceived as irresponsible -
SOLVANG When would you leave?
SAM ANDERSON On the six o’clock flight.
SOLVANG
On the –
HOVERMANN
As head of the National Security Council my primary responsibility is the protection of the President
SAM ANDERSON
I know.
He leans over, presses the intercom lever.
SAM ANDERSON (INTO INTERCOM)
Ask Captain Rimrod to bring the football in here, would you?
The Men blink.
SAM ANDERSON
Peter here told me about a fella who lives with the grizzlies in Vancouver and runs a seat on the Chicago Stock Exchange — by telephone and FAX and courier.
I have an office budget of six hundred thousand per week and
I can’t compete with a guy in a tent in the tundra?
CAPTAIN RIMROD: Enters with “Football,” salutes. Sam Anderson returns his salute. Seeing so much civilian brass in one room, and the request for his football, the Marine is calculating the extent of national emergency.
SAM ANDERSON
(to the Marine)
These fellas want a brush-up on the Football. Would you mind a light once-over, Captain?
CAPTAIN RIMROD Certainly, Mister President.
He sets the case down, presses its side and the case opens to reveal a telephone and electronic switchboard of miniature circuitry. There are several small buttons to the side.
CAPTAIN RIMROD Basically, this is a miniature Universal Switchboard, by that
I mean it is connected to all our military installations, embassies and so on with scrambled signals — really, it’s a microversion of the White House switchboard except that it’s portable and in the event of a military emergency could keep the President in touch with the nerve centers from any position on earth.
SOLVANG
(almost genuinely not condescending)
We, uh have seen this before, Mister President, but thank you.
SAM ANDERSON (TO MARINE)
That’ll be all, thank you, Captain.
The Captain salutes sharply, reaches for the “Football.”
SAM ANDERSON No. Leave that.
CAPTAIN RIMROD: Freezes. Leave the football? He looks at the others — perhaps a second too long — then recovers and salutes once again and leaves.
The men stare at the football on the desk. The implications of this begin to cause invisible tremors in organs internal.
SAM ANDERSON
You think I’m not able to carry the ball? You think something’s gonna happen to me in the taxi to the airport? This little pad of ours is the target of about one trillion tons of nuclear warheads, and you think something might happen to me on the way to South Dakota? I’m going on a little journey, taking my office with me.
HOVERMANN
You’re right. This isn’t Camelot. (MORE)
HOVERMANN
This isn’t even forty years ago, when the President could take a morning stroll SAM ANDERSON Good! What is it then?
SOLVANG
It’s the White House, Mister President.
SAM ANDERSON
Lesson one. Lesson two: What’s that, this White House?
SOLVANG
The center of government.
Saying this is an act of bravery for Solvang, as it implies a certain didactic SCOlding.
SAM ANDERSON Really? When did this happen? The center of government huh? Was there a coup? Have the Congress, the Judiciary, the Senate, the governorships, the states, the — who do you call them, the voters — gone underground?
Holds up Time cover.
SAM ANDERSON
Is this the truth? Are we dealing with an immense underground population, with us the only ones” left untouched, in this office known as the bunker, now I think about it — In this White House which the Johnsons and various other Presidents called the jail for these very constraints
PETER
(helpful) I ran away.
SAM ANDERSON Peter ran away!
(MORE)
SAM ANDERSON (CONT) Christ — do you know the number of Presidents who’ve snuck away from the Secret Service since they became so damn pervasively dictatorial? Hey wait — I know there are people who want to kill me out there. But Sam Anderson the President is not the one they’ll see. They’ll see - He places on the moustache and the western hat.
SAM ANDERSON
– Sam Anderson the man. The man I want Katherine to see.
PRESIDENT ANDERSON: Looks like a rancher from a combo of six states.
SOLVANG
Jesus Sam, we know how you feel, even if we haven’t maybe felt it ourselves in a while HOVERMANN A long while.
CYRUS I’m happily married.
SOLVANG
Couldn’t you be a bit more conventional about this? Like use of the telphone?
HOVERMANN
Invite her to dinner, maybe?
SAM ANDERSON
There is no other way for me to do this. She won’t see me if I come with the whole damn government trailing along. She won’t see me.
HOVERMANN
Well then, have you thought about that? How she might perceive you? As a wife?
SAM ANDERSON Our business.
Silence.
SOLVANG
If you were caught outside the White House the results would be disastrous.
SAM ANDERSON
You mean I could lose my job? The polls would plummet?
CYRUS Like a stone.
SAM ANDERSON,
Thomas Jefferson took a sixteenyear old “woman of color” to London with him because he fell in love with her. Harding wrote letters to his mistress that have to be read from brown paper bags. We know why they called him StandUp Jack — I’ve been so circumspect since Maggie died I’m beinning to feel like a — a -
Nerd.
PETER
SAM ANDERSON Nerd! Thank you, Peter.
HOVERMANN
Not even one Secret Serviceman?
SAM ANDERSON
Even one dark thought can cloud the reason.
HOVERMANN
But a Secret Serviceman — surely
SAM ANDERSON
Tell me, would you bring a cop on a date? That’s what it’d be like — it’s ecological, Hovermann. Like a cigarette butt in a trout pond. Just one ruins the whole effect.
HOVERMANN
Then at least you’ll let us help you –
Cyrus studies the handwritten itinerary.
CYRUS
It says here you’ll get into Rapid City at SOLVANG (interrupting Cyrus; to President)
I’ve seen this woman, I can understand your attraction — but are you absolutely absolutely sure about this, would you jeopardize all we’ve worked for for — for
SAM ANDERSON
Are you about to say, a piece of ass?
HOVERMANN
He’s meaning, a man can also think with his little head
CYRUS
Two heads are better than one.
Peter laughs; they all turn to him, the kid showing them their absurdity.
CYRUS
– I didn’t mean that, I didn’t say that, I didn’t even think that.
SAM ANDERSON (quietly)
You know, I could use that too.
HOVERMANN
Let’s not break contact here.
(examines paper) Supposing you do get as far as Rapid City and nobody recognizes you — which is conceivable in that disguise.
PETER
Nobody’ll know who you are, Dad. You look like Butch Cassidy.
HOVERMANN
AND NOW YOU ARE RENTING THE CAR WAITING AT THE RAPID CITY AIRPORT, NORTH DAKOTA, AND IT
is nine or ten o’clock at night. You offer your credit card -
Right. card –
SAM ANDERSON
(satisfied they’re finally helping)
But I don’t need a credit Walter’s prepaid everything.
HOVERMANN
Fine. And Hertz or Avis asks for your driver’s license.
SAM: What’s this?
HOVERMANN Your driver’s license.
SAM ANDERSON My driver’s license?
Solvang and Cyrus can’t help but admire Hovermann’s cut to the heart of the dilemma.
HOVERMANN
You will need a driver’s license, won’t you?
SAM ANDERSON
I don’t know where it is — I think it’s expired — I never drive, I This thought seems to have temporarily thxown him utterly simple, he’d not thought of it.
HOVERMANN
I Suppose we could get you one
SOLVANG
He’ll have to take a test in D.C.
SAM ANDERSON
A driving test? I’ve driven for thirty years!
SOLVANG
But a driver’s license of course doesn’t last for thirty years.
CYRUS
He can’t get the license in D.C. — it’ll have to be his permanent residence, Hawthorne, Indiana.
HOVERMANN
How would we arrange that? We’re in D.C.
CYRUS
Washington’s not his permanent address. If the press found out he claimed that, it could lead to trouble, especially since he hasn’t announced
SOLVANG
If we could get into the computer in Indiana — but motor vehicles Don’t we know anybody in motor vehicles in Indian –
SAM ANDERSON
(slow burn)
I haven’t got a driver’s license because I am not allowed to drive a personal vehicle for reasons of national security — though who knows what the hell is so secure in this world — And since the government has decreed this, I think the government might have the grace to aid me in this regard — I mean, it occurs to me that with the Pentagon’s ninety thousand two hundred thirteen employees, State’s sixty thousand,” the F.B.I.’s one hundred and ten thousand part of whose jop is to specialize in creating appropriate documents
WHEN WE’VE GOT COURTS JAMMED WITH FALSE DOCUMENTS GOT BY TWO-BIT CRIMINALS STRETCHING FROM HERE TO MARS — SOMEBODY COULD GET ME A DRIVER’S LICENSE SO I CAN GET IN
a goddamn car and go and see my girl! !
PETER
I can get you one, Dad.
They all turn to him.
PETER
Jake’s brother has a false ID so he can go to Georgetown and pick up college girls. You get them at the arcade. You want me to get you one? Fifty cents.
They ponder this.
HOVERMANN (quietly)
I can ask a personal favor of Wilson at State. I trust him.
SAM ANDERSON
Thank you.
CYRUS
Mister President Sam turns to him.
CYRUS
HOPE I’M NOT PUTTING MY CAREER ON THE LINE
SOLVANG
The President’s doing that for you, Cyrus –
SAM: Hears this, ignores it, but hears it.
CYRUS (carefully)
But what if the lady says no.
They all turn to him. Whoever says no to Sam Anderson? And yet –
SAM ANDERSON What did you say?
CYRUS (gulps, reddens)
What if — she rejects your proposal?
PETER
Dad’s gonna make her an offer she can’t refuse.
SAM ANDERSON
Yes Peter, that’s my hope but women usually don’t respond to threats as reliably as mobsters do.
(a breath)
Therefore, that’s a possibility.
SOLVANG
If you were somehow to succeed in getting there without being detected — which is possible, since there is a certain number of the population who probably still think Bush is President.
IF YOU WERE TO REACH HER, PROPOSE TO HER, AND BE REJECTED
HOVERMANN
It would be a knife in the heart of your Presidency.
SAM ANDERSON
Is that why you’re asking? Not occurring to you the effect her saying no might have on my .
Sam trails off.
CYRUS
– All benefits which might accrue from your bold, romantic and adventuresome move would reverse themselves to liabilities.
SOLVANG
The polls would kill you.
HOVERMANN
Think of the headline: President turned down, caught out of the White House with his pants down, so to speak, and –
Sam turns to Peter.
SAM ANDERSON
Peter, this concludes White House Politics lOI. I want you to go to your room like we said
(looks over at the Men) while I tell these three gentlemen just where to sit when they ride on these upcoming poles.
PETER
Okay.
He crosses to the door. Sam is about to speak once more when Peter turns back.
PETER
Will I have to call her Mom?
SAM ANDERSON
Well, her given name is Catherine. I’m sure the two of you can work that out together. If we get the chance.
Giving him a “thumbs up,” Peter leaves.
Sam looks at the others.
SAM ANDERSON
Amazing. The four of us have faced some tough situations since my inauguration, but I’ve never seen any of you this scared. Do I appear to be a dangerous person to you? Some kind of threat, or obstacle?
THE THREE: Stare at him.
SAM ANDERSON
Then why do you look at me as if I’m Abul Nabul? Am I merely a political being? If so, I’m a walking historical artifact nothing more — certainly not an evolving, evolutionary, biological being — No wait, I’m not going off the deep end here He crosses to a pile of books at the base of the couch, where he’s been doing “research.” The three observe the President of the United States rummaging through pages like a graduate student.
SAM ANDERSON
(opens book, reads)
“Our happiness is not an ordinary matter of young lovers; it is, for me, a matter of efficiency.
I am absolutely dependent on intimate love for the right and free and most effective use of my powers. Love, personal love, is the one thing a man’s heart cannot do without.”
CYRUS
President Woodrow Wilson’s love letters. Great.
SAM ANDERSON
– At the height of the bloodiest war in all history. We men do need our women from time to time, do we not?
SOLVANG
Forgive me, but I gave up a very lucrative position in the private sector thinking you intended to both be and stay the President, sir.
What?
SAM ANDERSON
SLVANG I do not think this is a win-win situation.
SAM ANDERSON
Good God, if I am denied because of questionable theories or possibilities or press reaction the ability to be all that I am, or who I am, as a human, feeling being, then how can I possibly represent the human feelings of tens of millions of beings? Don’t you see, the best I can do for my country is equal to the best I can do for myself? If the goal is greatness, for me and you and this administration — which is only a blink in the long list of forward-moving administrations then I’ve got to strive for the heights — I’ve got to at least prepare myself for the possibility that I — like you, Cyrus, or you Ben, or you, Reggie — that I could be the hundredth monkey!
Now he’s done it. He can tell by the looks on their faces they’re not au courant on the hundredth monkey theories. He can tell explaining it would be to lengthy and probably counter-productive. He can tell that they probably think he’s lost it. But what really frightens him: he doesn’t care.
SAM ANDERSON
(a little patiently)
The hundredth monkey is not a-creature. It’s just the theory that we can learn from each other in simultaneously evolutionary ways, as opposed to legislating laws alone or — or –
He turns to the desk, starts collecting a pile of small volumes into his briefcase, as if preparing to end the meeting.
HOVERMANN
We’ll not abandon you, Mister President.
SAM ANDERSON I expect you won’t.
He turns from them, starts for the door.
CYRUS
We’ll stay in touch — using the Football as you suggested
SAM ANDERSON
(packing up)
If any problem arises, Ellsworth Air Force Base is right out of Rapid City. I’ll call there, they’ll get me home — My temporary home. Though I don’t expect much to happen. The weather’s nice I expect most of Washington’s out sunning themselves by now. I’m sorry you won’t have that opportunity this weekend, but I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.
He crosses to the door.
CYRUS
How will you get out?
SAM ANDERSON
hrough the door — like everybody else.
SOLVANG Mister President.
Turns back.
SOLVANG
Good luck.
SAM ANDERSON
Call me Sam. I’ve gone underground till this time tomorrow.
SOLVANG Good luck Sam.
CYRUS
Send Cynthia our regards Sam has left the room.
CYRUS
Christ — I meant Catherine!
HOVERMANN The hundredth monkey.
SOLVANG (wry)
Not impossible. He’s just made three of us already EXT. BETTYJACK’S BED AND BREAKFAST. MOUNT RUSHMORE. DAY.
It’s a two-storey wooden main house with cabins out back, all rustic yet neat, Swiss-inspired, with stately fir trees surrounding, it left behind by the art directors of North by Northwest.
Just now Catherine is heading towards the rear cabins with a fresh stack of towels. Suddenly TWO GIRL TOURISTS FROM PHILADELPHIA run screaming towards her from Cabin 5.
PHILADELPHIAGIRL
There’s an animal eating our room!
CATHERINE
Is there?
Rather unhurriedly, she walks to the cabin door, looks inside briefly, then turns back to them.
CATHERINE
I’ll only be a minute. Then we’ll move you to Cabin 6 — it’s actually got a better view anyway.
She shuts the door.
INT. CABIN 5. DAY.
Catherine turns angrily about the cabin. It’s a mess. Blankets, pillows, toilet paper, kitchen articles strewn everywhere, helter skelter.
Now Catherine turns to the kitchenette, spotting someone.
CATHERINE
You. You vile beast, you nasty sneak, you flea-bitten old bag of bones –
HOVERMANN
The famous cover of the White House in the shape of a lotus flower, all white and soap-like, sitting on a pond of pollution, and layers in the pond showing the hidden roots of inner-city poverty, burning diplomas, homeless, jobless, but the middle class up there near the White House, as if this were a Dante drawing of a hellish descent, drawn by Bosh, reintroduced by Time-Warner.

THE PRESIDENT ELOPES
“The Executive Wing”
“The West Wing”
BY
William Richert
1991 Written for
Wildwood Enterprises/Universal Pictures
Robert Redford, Producer
Barbara Maltby, Producer

EXT. WHITE HOUSE SOUTH LAWN. EXECUTIVE WING. DAY. ,
The cherry trees show tiny naked green buds of spring. A squirrel drops down in front of an office suite.

INT. BUSTER SOLVANG’S INNER OFFICE. DAY.
BUSTER SOLVANG, the White House Chief of Staff, is standing behind his desk on the phone, nervously fiddling with the Phi Beta Kappa pin on his ivy league tie. He’s talking to his wife.
SOLVANG
(into phone)
No — I want to use the station wagon. No, I don’t care how much room — .
Solvang glances across the room at a Ralph Nader lookalike, JOE NOVAK, of the Washington Post. During the interruption, Novak has picked up a sculpture made of a soft white plastic from the’ coffee table.
SOLVANG (cups receiver;
calls over)
That’s called a soft sculpture interactive pUZZle-thing. Put your finger somewhere. See how it feels.
Novak puts first one finger from his right hand into the sculpture, then puts a finger from his left hand into the sculpture. Makes him smile.
SOLVANG
(turns to face the window, the south lawn stretching far away in front of him)
Honey — HONEY — it’s a tailgate party, bottom line, and the convertible doesn’t have a tailgate, bottom line.
(calls to Novak)
You can put all ten fingers into it.
THE PUZZLE: The Journalist puts all ten fingers into the material, as into swiss cheese.

She exits worriedly.
SOLVANG
(into phone; hurriedly) Call you back, use the station wagon.
(hangs up; to Novak) Great toy, huh?
NOVAK
I wondered what you guys do to practice sleight-of-hand
SOLVANG (into phone)
Mr. President — •
A PAUSE: Solvang turns slightly. Novak is watching him closely intent on each word at the mention of “Mr. President.”
SOLVANG
(on phone)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Sure, of course. No problem. No problem. No-­just a — just a family reunion. No problem. My family’ll be around a lot longer than this Friday afternoon, won’t it?
Smiles sheepishly over at Novak, thinking he’s said something inane.
Novak looks back at him, his eyes journalistic computer lenses.
NOVAK’S FINGERS: In the plastic sculpture.
Solvang sets back the phone, turns, starts to pick up his golf irons, then mechanically sets them back — one more meeting to do.
“He crosses towards the outer door, calling to Secretary.
SOLVANG
I’m walking over to the EOB, so just hang for a little while, okay Julia?
JULIA (V .0.)
Where?
SOLVANG
The Executive Office Building — •

2

NOVAK (rises)
The President’s at the EOB?
SOLVANG
Nothing newsworthy — He’s got some thoughts he wants to talk to me about.
NOVAK
The last time he retired to the EOB
SOLVANG (patient)
He’s not retired anyplace; he’s just using his other office ’cause it’s quieter –.
NOVAK
On a Friday afternoon? In Washington? In the Spring?
Solvang starts to shake his hand, then notices that Novak is caught up in the sculpture.
Novak looks down at his hands which seem stuck together in it. He pulls. The fingers get stuck tighter.
SOLVANG
Shows what happens you go poking around in the wrong places — •
Pats Novak on the back.
NOVAK
I hate practical jokes, you know that.
SOLVANG
I gotta run — Julia’ll help you out — unless you want to wait till I get back.
He leaves the room. Novak looks after him, disbelieving. Julia enters.
JULIA
Help you out of what?
Novak stares at her well-scrubbed face with foreboding.

3

EXT. WHITE HOUSE. DAY.

While Solvang crosses the South Lawn, Press Secretary CYRUS WELBY and CRISPIN HOVERMANN of the National Security Council are converging with him from another part of the White House.
HIGH ABOVE: A machine gun nest, surrounded on three sides by thick glass, looks down on them. Rarely photographed for reasons of national security, the Marines stare down like Peregrine falcons.
BELOW THEM: Solvang hurries to catch up with the others as they approach Security.
CYRUS
(to Hovermann)
Why always Fridays? Is there a law someplace that a crisis must occur on the first non-rainy weekend in April?
HOVERMANN
He won’t keep us long, I’m sure.
SOLVANG (catching up; out of breath)
Well, I guess this must be Friday
The two turn to him.
CYRUS
(glum)
I can’t complain. I see Marge
so seldom now we’re starting to write love memos to each other. She’s learning how to spell along with the kids.
CYRUS (to Solvang)
You know what it’s about?
SOLVANG
(his mysterious smile; an enigmatic know-it-all meaning he knows absolutely nothing)
Of course.
HOVERMANN
Buster, do you realize how unbelievably transparent you are sometimes?

4

SOLVANG Keeps me honest.
The three men step up to the Security Guard, open their jackets to show their picture IDs on their shirts, though their faces are familiar to millions.
The Sergeant lets them through and they head along the walkway to the Executive Office Building opposite the White House.
INT. PRESIDENT’S QUARTERS. EXECUTIVE OFFICE BUILDING. DAY.
Two rather modest adjoining rooms constitute the little-known “other” office allotted the President in the building designed in 1916 to accommodate the growing White House staff.
One of the rooms is like a library, books and papers strewn about, over and under the coffee table, as if a graduate student were at work.
In the other room is an enormous desk, an elaborate telephone console, a map of the world on one entire wall — and, on the other three walls, hand-drawn cartoon caricatures of President Sam Anderson collected and framed from a twenty-year political life.
Here is SAM now, sitting at his desk, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of him, almost as if making an address from a teleprompter.
‘HE’S WATCHING: A caricature of himself, riding a Tomahawk missile, it sticking penis-like from between his legs like a wick with a candle being ignited by a match which reads like Lewis Carroll: “LIGHT ME.”
HIS FACE: Impassive, his eyes move.
SECOND CARICATURE: It’s him twenty years ago from the Hawthorne Star.
He’s got a youthful grin and a glass of wine at a spiffy table in the drawing — but his plate is a small bale of hay and the caption reads: “LET THEM EAT STRAW?”
SAM’S EYES: Switch again as Solvang, Hovermann and Cyrus enter the doorway, followed by a MARINE SERGEANT. Seeing them acknowledged by the President’s glance, the Marine steps out.
SOLVANG Mr. President — •

5

Greetings are rather formally exchanged. Cyrus looks around excitedly.
CYRUS
I heard you had these, Mr. President — but wow — you’ve really got to have a sense of humor to take some of these in
(sudden thought)
If we could only get that across to the voters — •
He stops, frozen by the looks from the President and the others to each other.
SAM ANDERSON
Now they don’t think I’ve got
a sense of humor? Have we polled them on that?
CYRUS Not exactly.
Silence.
Sam Anderson motions toward the sofa, made of horsehair, once belonging to Teddy Roosevelt, the hair being from one of his own horses (not to be mentioned or referred to).
The three sit like dominoes.
SAM ANDERSON (slow smile)
I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you here.
Shrugs, half-responses.
SAM ANDERSON
To put you at ease, I’m not at all asking you here for the same reason I asked you here last March. I’ve come to this office — to — do some research.
SOLVANG Research, Mister President?
SAM ANDERSON
I mean I’ve finished my research,
and I’m prepared to make a statement. Not a statement, a — •

6

He feels awkward, and they feel awkward, as he struggles with something. Now he drops his eyes to the desk.
ON THE DESK: Are copies of magazines we’ve seen earlier, the Newsweek cover showing Sam with two profiles of himself, nose to nose, the caption reading: “ANDERSON VS. ANDERSON.”
National Review: “WANTED, SINCERE PRESIDENTIAL APPLICANT FOR NATIONAL PARTY.” And below: “APPLY B. SOLVANG, l600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.”
Christian Science Monitor:”THOUGH WE LIKE HIM, DOES HE LIKE US? SAM ANDERSON: THE PEOPLE’S DILEMMA.”
Time Magazine: The famous cover of the White House in the shape of a lotus flower, all white and soap-like, sitting on a pond of pollution, and layers in the pond showing the hidden roots of inner-city poverty, burning diplomas, homeless, jobless, but the middle class up there near the White House, as if this were a Dante drawing of a hellish descent, drawn by Bosh, reintroduced by Time-Warner.
Sam holds up the cover like a magazine salesman.
SAM ANDERSON
Look at this. What do you see?
I mean, pretend you’ve never seen it before, what do you see?
Silence.
SOLVANG
We’ve seen it in poster shops already, I don’t know what you mean, Mr. President
CYRUS (cheerily)
The plus side is that the lotus represents enlightenment -_ •
They all look at him.
CYRUS (soberly)
In the Buddhist religion.
(to his couch companions) My wife studies Yoga. Forget it.
Sam Anderson looks at him.

7

8
SAM ANDERSON
Maybe.
He points to the TIME magazine cover.
SAM ANDERSON
Y’see, I only got here three years and four months ago. But the earth which produces these scenes has existed for millenia — our country didn’t just snap its fingers into existing in its present state — my God, it’s
been over a hundred forty years since we fought a civil war here! Republics do not exist in the
same way after a civil war __ Lincoln, one of our greatest Presidents, dressed like an undertaker and was an undertaker to some degree of the Founding Fathers’ fundamental dream of uniting — of unity –
THE MEN ON THE COUCH: stare at him, sideways glancing at each other: What’s he talking about?
SAM ANDERSON
Don’t you see — what Disraeli said is true — in a democracy, you
don’t govern, you just hang on
that’s the difference between us
and them supposedly: that I cannot order this to be an “absolutely law-abiding country” or an absolutely anything — a homeless-less country — that’s not my job! That’s THEIR JOB! I only work here, goddamn it! I’m not creating hell! Jesus–
I wonder if I’m creating anything
at all!
CYRUS (rising)
Mr. President, not one American __ •

SAM ANDERSON
Sit down Cyrus, I never thought I was creating hell, or raising hell or even going to hell. The point is — what is the point? The point is — •
THE CARICATURES ON THE WALL: Showing the scope of his life.
SAM ANDERSON
I look at myself on these walls __ in these newspapers and magazines — I look at myself, and what do
I see? What do I see?
HOVERMANN
You’re asking us to venture an opinion as to what you’re seeing, Mr. President, which none of us
are equipped or in fact responsible enough to do. It would be hearsay.
SAM ANDERSON
Cyrus, as press secretary you’re
a master of hearsay. What do I see?
CYRUS
Well, objectively, some really excellent political cartooning. I’d certainly love to have one on my walls, I tell you.
SAM ANDERSON
I never realized till this moment just how slippery you really are, Cyrus — not a criticism. Which one would you like?
CYRUS
Really, Mister President
But Sam has already risen, is crossing to the wall and then he reaches up and takes the caricature of himself on the Tomahawk missile.
SAM ANDERSON How about this one?
CYRUS
(reddens)
Mr. President, really –.

9

Sam walks over, hands it to him, Cyrus takes it proudly.
SAM ANDERSON
And myself? Am I real, or am I a caricature? If I am cut, do I not bleed?
He looks at them, pulls out his reading glasses, glances at a Washington Post.
SAM ANDERSON
According to the Washington Post, if I am cut, I do not bleed. My opponent apparently bleeds better than I do. I am smart, but bloodless, right? Is that right?
THE THREE: Don’t know what to say.
SOLVANG
Mister President, that’s asking in the “when did you stop beating your wife” category. We know you’re not bloodless, that if you are cut you will indeed bleed.
SAM ANDERSON
Oh. Good ••• But if they ever caught me bleeding, it wouldn’t show up well in the polls would it? Weakness?
CYRUS
You are strong in the polls as we’ve said again and again
SOLVANG
But they want to know when you’re” going to announce, Mister President. Your uncertainty is creating uncertainty — •
CYRUS
Exactly. Hence the falling polls.
SOLVANG
The National Committee spent three million on a televised campaign which we •••
(tactful)
Derailed at your request, even though you looked like a gosh-darned movie star-ecologist-commander-in_ chief trout fisherman — •

SAM ANDERSON
It was so sweet when I watched it my teeth ached. If I’m that saccharine the country is better off with sweet’n low •••
He swings his chair back.
SAM ANDERSON
(pressing arms on armrest) Love this chair. Teddy Roosevelt sat here. Big elephant killer,
old Teddy — a big, big game hunter, warrior — a lot easier to portray certainty back then, fellas, when certainty was a factor in human life. And the planet still had elephants. When men as boys took jobs for life, wives for life, religions for life — •
(sighs, gets up; looks around) Where’s that article?
CYRUS May I help you sir?
SAM ANDERSON
The one calling Solvang and Hovermann the S&H stamp boys
HOVERMANN (upset)
Mr. President — •
SOLVANG (protesting) Mr. President — •
Sam searches through another stack of papers.
SAM ANDERSON
If you fellas made all the decisions they think you make
HOVERMANN
These are common political accusations that you’ve already put aside I’m sure — •
He spins to them.

II

SAM ANDERSON Hell, I know who makes the
decisions here — what’s interesting is that you don’t know that. And until this point in time it hasn’t interested me whether you do influence me or you don’t influence me or even who thinks you do or don’t — The crisis of my Presidency
is becoming clear to me as a ”
personal crisis. It’s my mandate to represent the will of the people — but how can I do that without a will of my own? I have not announced a second term campaign because I’ve barely started what I said I’d do in
my FIRST campaign. No. Y’see,
I can’t and would not presume to change the Presidency — though
I might find additional tributaries of information other than your three singular offices
THE THREE MEN FEEL THE SAME CHILL.
SAM ANDERSON
But I can and must change the life of Sam Anderson. What’s the NASA term? Point of No Recall? I’m at Point of No Recall. I’m an American in the thick of this like everybody else. But when I look at all
these articles, I see a man alone. And now for the first time in my life, I feel like a man alone.
HOVERMANN
That’s understandable, you lost your wife.
SAM ANDERSON
Yes. But being the workaholic that I am, I wasn’t aware of how much I needed her, how much I had ••• loved her •••
He pauses in his intensity, then a faint smile appears on his face at:
WHAT HE SEES: The three men, like heirs fearing to learn the estate is bankrupt.

12

SAM ANDERSON
As I say, I didn’t realize how much I loved her until I fell in love again.
THE MEN: Unsure if this is better or worse than the worst they’d expected.
HOVERMANN
I beg your pardon, Mister President?
SAM ANDERSON
I said I’ve fallen in love, and it’s changed my life.
SOLVANG
You saying you’re in love?
HOVERMANN You’ve fallen in love?
CYRUS
Well, let me shake your hand, Mister President — •
He starts to cross, the President mildly holds his hand up stopping him.
SAM ANDERSON
There’s more — which my instinct tells me will put an end to the POMP OP PIMP sort of thing that “Spy” wrote about you guys __ •
HOVERMANN That nonsense — ?
SAM ANDERSON
Anyway, you won’t need to set me up anymore — because I’m setting myself up — for the big one.
SOLVANG
(quietly, a eureka)
You’re getting married. You have fallen in love and you’re getting married.
Sam looks at him expressionlessly, then turns and the others turn to see that PETER has entered the room with Mike, his Secret Service Bodyguard. Peter carries a large shopping bag.

l3

SAM ANDERSON Peter was the first to know. He’s my accomplice.
PETER
I got the stuff, Dad.
SAM ANDERSON Bring it here, Son.
Peter crosses to the desk; Sam takes the bag and sets Peter in his own chair.
SAM ANDERSON
Sit down, Peter. I am starting my educational reform this very moment with my own son. White House Politics lOl.
THE THREE ADVISORS: Just gape at the President~ Solvang is the first to speak.
SOLVANG
God, I feel like I’m on the thirty-yard line at the Army Navy game and the quarterback just as he’s about to get nailed, spins out and simply •••
HOVERMANN
Once again the old Sam Anderson, Mister President. Brilliant.
CYRUS
If God were to make an angelic visitation on a poor press secretary and grant any wish
on earth or heaven, it would be a White House wedding followed by an announcement from the oval office: I shall run again. WE shall be with you a second turn.
(holds out his hand, looks at the hairs on it)
The hair stands up.
SOLVANG Breathtaking, Mister President.
CYRUS
Chestnut’s out of the fire.

14

SAM ANDERSON Nobody wants to know who the lady is?
They ALL assent they do.
SAM ANDERSON
(proudly)
Catherine Crighton.
SOLVANG
(mouths the words)
Catherine Crighton
HOVERMANN (snaps fingers)
Senator Crighton’s wife!
From their dizzy height, the same thought fells them together, their expressions shattering like plaster.
HOVERMANN A married woman?
SOLVANG Somebody’s wife?
CYRUS
No — no! Hold it, she’s not married any more — It was annulled, they just kept on living together — she’s not married any more!
HOVERMANN
A divorced female? In an election year? Good God — •
CYRUS
No - the Blue Chip woman! She’s a hero — she turned down the Oprah Winfrey show, I know, they asked me where to find her!
God, I know where to find her! She lives — get this — at Mount Rushmore!!
He blows a kiss heavenward.
CYRUS
Excuse me Mister President, it’s been a long dry spell for us all in the romance department — the whole country will be with you __ •

15

SOLVANG The whole planet.
HOVERMANN
Camelot.
SAM ANDERSON
Forget Camelot. If this were Camelot, I could just go down
to the Senate floor, lop off a couple of heads with my Excaliber and ride back to the castle with my enemies’ wives and daughters in a wooden wagon
CYRUS
Wooden wagon! You’ll have the longest wedding procession since since — • Damn, where’s research when you need them.
(checks watch)
Anyway, we’ll know before you announce it.
SOLVANG
When do you plan to announce the date?
CYRUS
Don’t say June, I’m liable to do something indecent — •
SAM ANDERSON
Well there’s the rub, of course __ I can’t announce a date just yet because she’s not — in point of fact -; agreed to marry me. Just yet.
SOLVANG She’s not said yes?
SAM ANDERSON I haven’t asked her.
CYRUS Well then when — ?
He hesitates, glances at the others, unsure whether it’s his place to advance this particular question.
SAM ANDERSON
I’m going to ask her tomorrow.

16

THE MEN: Going from precipice to precipice with their President, hanging on
CYRUS
Tomorrow? But you aren’t seeing her tomorrow, she’s not on the calendar — oh, my God, I get it — the telephone! Not so romantic, you should see her in person.
I mean, preferably.
SAM ANDERSON
I am seeing her in person.
CYRUS
So she is coming here.
SAM ANDERSON No, I’m going there.
SOLVANG
You’re going there? Nobody told me this. I scheduled a Potomac weekend, not that I care, but
I still feel — •
SAM ANDERSON
You were not misinformed. I’ve just decided to get on a plane
and go find out if Catherine wants to get hitched.
(to Peter)
Were you able to get everything?
PETER
I even got you an earring, like Billy Idol’s.
THE MEN: Once again thrown into hellish confusion at the mention of an almost-familiar but certainly iffy name, now watch with dead intensity ss the President removes several bags of false moustaches in cellophane bags, along with a ” cheap western hat and dark glasses.
Somewhat deliberately, he unwraps the cellophane packs
and arranges the false moustaches, eyelashes and sideburns along the highly polished table.
The men stare at him, thinking fathomless thoughts.
SAM ANDERSON (reaches into pocket, as he continues) Here’s my itinerary.

17

Hovermann reaches for it, but Solvang intercepts. A not-too-subtle cluck in the pecking order. Sam glances sideways at Peter, who nods imperceptibly; he got it.
SOLVANG
(looks it up and down) This — this is just a piece
of paper. It’s not an itinerary. An itinerary’s eighty-eight pages.
SAM ANDERSON
Jefferson kept a week’s schedule
in his back pocket. That’s merely an airline schedule — I had Walter Eichenhard book it through his office. Except for him, and you
in this room, the need to know has ended.
SOLVANG
You’d better look at this __
He hands the paper to Hovermann.
HOVERMANN
(looks at paper)
Mr. President — here I see WaShington, Chicago, Rapid City this is a long way to a straight line — plus booking the support staff on commercial airlines with so many stops — •
SOLVANG
A commercial airline is just too expensive — I mean, we could try to justify it but — GAO is so effing testy lately — •
SAM ANDERSON
(as he applies a sideburn
to his head, using the polished desk as a mirror) I’m not billing it to the government. I’m paying my own way.
CYRUS
(this perhaps the most shocking of all)
Pay your own way!
SAM ANDERSON
The ticket’s only fourteen hunded dollars - first class.

18

SOLVANG Fourteen hundred -_ •
HOVERMANN
(turns the paper over as if trying to decipher it) This is for only one person.
SAM ANDERSON Only one person is going.
PETER
Right on.
HOVERMANN
Mister President, you can’t really go as one person, only one person.
SAM ANDERSON Who says I can’t?
HOVERMANN (laughs)
Wull - wull — Mister President, are we returning to the sixties?
The President cocks his head slightly, thinking about it, fastening his sideburns. Cyrus watches him intently.
CYRUS
May I inquire as to your present activity, Mister President?
HOVERMANN
Putting together the romantic implications of your decision to ask this woman to marry you, additionally the fact you are presently applying some form of disguise, I might suggest I suspect a rather serious course of action on your part to which careful consideration must be placed, though presumably •••
SOLVANG
Are you really ••• attempting this, Mister President?
CYRUS
You wouldn’t want to be perceived as irresponsible -_ •

19

SOLVANG When would you leave?
SAM ANDERSON On the six o’clock flight.
SOLVANG
On the — •
HOVERMANN
As head of the National Security Council my primary responsibility is the protection of the President
SAM ANDERSON
I know.
He leans over, presses the intercom lever.
SAM ANDERSON (into intercom)
Ask Captain Rimrod to bring the football in here, would you?
The Men blink.
SAM ANDERSON
Peter here told me about a fella who lives with the grizzlies in Vancouver and runs a seat on the Chicago Stock Exchange — by telephone and FAX and courier.
I have an office budget of six hundred thousand per week and
I can’t compete with a guy in
a tent in the tundra?
CAPTAIN RIMROD: Enters with “Football,” salutes. Sam Anderson returns his salute. Seeing so much civilian brass in one room, and the request for his football, the Marine is calculating the extent of national emergency.
SAM ANDERSON
(to the Marine)
These fellas want a brush-up
on the Football. Would you mind a light once-over, Captain?
CAPTAIN RIMROD Certainly, Mister President.
He sets the case down, presses its side and the case opens to reveal a telephone and electronic switchboard of miniature circuitry. There are several small buttons to the side.

20

CAPTAIN RIMROD Basically, this is a miniature Universal Switchboard, by that
I mean it is connected to all
our military installations, embassies and so on with scrambled signals — really, it’s a micro­version of the White House switchboard except that it’s portable and in the event of a military emergency could keep
the President in touch with the nerve centers from any position
on earth.
SOLVANG
(almost genuinely not condescending)
We, uh ••• have seen this before, Mister President, but thank you.
SAM ANDERSON (to Marine)
That’ll be all, thank you, Captain.
The Captain salutes sharply, reaches for the “Football.”
SAM ANDERSON No. Leave that.
CAPTAIN RIMROD: Freezes. Leave the football? He looks at the others — perhaps a second too long — then recovers and salutes once again and leaves.
The men stare at the football on the desk. The implications of this begin to cause invisible tremors in organs internal.
SAM ANDERSON
You think I’m not able to carry the ball? You think something’s gonna happen to me in the taxi
to the airport? This little pad of ours is the target of about one trillion tons of nuclear warheads, and you think something might happen to me on the way to South Dakota? I’m going on a little journey, taking my office with me.
HOVERMANN
You’re right. This isn’t Camelot. (MORE)

21

HOVERMANN (CONT)
This isn’t even forty years ago, when the President could take a morning stroll
SAM ANDERSON Good! What is it then?
SOLVANG
It’s the White House, Mister President.
SAM ANDERSON
Lesson one. Lesson two: What’s that, this White House?
SOLVANG
The center of government.
Saying this is an act of bravery for Solvang, as it implies a certain didactic SCOlding.
SAM ANDERSON Really? When did this happen? The center of government huh? Was there a coup? Have the Congress, the Judiciary, the Senate, the governorships, the states, the — who do you call them, the voters — gone underground?
Holds up Time cover.
SAM ANDERSON
Is this the truth? Are we dealing with an immense underground population, with us the only ones” left untouched, in this office __ known as the bunker, now I think about it — In this White House __ which the Johnsons and various other Presidents called the jail for these very constraints
PETER
(helpful) I ran away.
SAM ANDERSON Peter ran away!
(MORE)

22

SAM ANDERSON (CONT) Christ — do you know the number of Presidents who’ve snuck away from the Secret Service since they became so damn pervasively dictatorial? Hey wait — I know there are people who want to kill me out there. But Sam Anderson the President is not the one they’ll see. They’ll see -_ •
He places on the moustache and the western hat.
SAM ANDERSON
– Sam Anderson the man. The man I want Katherine to see.
PRESIDENT ANDERSON: Looks like a rancher from a combo of six states.
SOLVANG
Jesus Sam, we know how you feel, even if we haven’t maybe felt
it ourselves in a while
HOVERMANN A long while.
CYRUS I’m happily married.
SOLVANG
Couldn’t you be a bit more conventional about this? Like use of the telphone?
HOVERMANN
Invite her to dinner, maybe?
SAM ANDERSON
There is no other way for me to
do this. She won’t see me if I come with the whole damn government trailing along. She won’t see me.
HOVERMANN
Well then, have you thought about that? How she might perceive you? As a wife?
SAM ANDERSON Our business.
Silence.

23

SOLVANG
If you were caught outside the White House the results would be disastrous.
SAM ANDERSON
You mean I could lose my job? The polls would plummet?
CYRUS Like a stone.
SAM ANDERSON,
Thomas Jefferson took a sixteen­year old “woman of color” to London with him because he fell
in love with her. Harding wrote letters to his mistress that have to be read from brown paper bags. We know why they called him Stand­Up Jack — I’ve been so circumspect since Maggie died I’m beinning
to feel like a — a -_ •
PETER
Nerd.
SAM ANDERSON Nerd! Thank you, Peter.
HOVERMANN
Not even one Secret Serviceman?
SAM ANDERSON
Even one dark thought can cloud the reason.
HOVERMANN
But a Secret Serviceman — surely __ •
SAM ANDERSON
Tell me, would you bring a cop on a date? That’s what it’d be like — it’s ecological, Hovermann. Like a cigarette butt in a trout pond. Just one ruins the whole effect.
HOVERMANN
Then at least you’ll let us help you — •
Cyrus studies the handwritten itinerary.

24

CYRUS
It says here you’ll get into Rapid City at
SOLVANG (interrupting Cyrus;
to President)
I’ve seen this woman, I can understand your attraction — but are you absolutely absolutely sure about
this, would you jeopardize all
we’ve worked for for — for __ •
SAM ANDERSON
Are you about to say, a piece of ass?
HOVERMANN
He’s meaning, a man can also think with his little head __ •
CYRUS
Two heads are better than one.
Peter laughs; they all turn to him, the kid showing them their absurdity.
CYRUS
– I didn’t mean that, I didn’t say that, I didn’t even think that.
SAM ANDERSON (quietly)
You know, I could use that too.
HOVERMANN
Let’s not break contact here.
(examines paper) Supposing you do get as far as Rapid City and nobody recognizes you — which is conceivable in that disguise.
PETER
Nobody’ll know who you are, Dad. You look like Butch Cassidy.
HOVERMANN
– And now you are renting the car waiting at the Rapid City airport, North Dakota, and it
is nine or ten o’clock at night. You offer your credit card -_ •

25

Right. card –

SAM ANDERSON
(satisfied they’re finally helping)
But I don’t need a credit Walter’s prepaid everything.

26

HOVERMANN
Fine. And Hertz or Avis asks for your driver’s license.
SAM: What’s this?
HOVERMANN Your driver’s license.
SAM ANDERSON My driver’s license?
Solvang and Cyrus can’t help but admire Hovermann’s cut to the heart of the dilemma.
HOVERMANN
You will need a driver’s license, won’t you?
SAM ANDERSON
I don’t know where it is — I think it’s expired — I never drive, I
This thought seems to have temporarily thxown him utterly simple, he’d not thought of it.
HOVERMANN
I Suppose we could get you one
SOLVANG
He’ll have to take a test in D.C.
SAM ANDERSON
A driving test? I’ve driven for thirty years!
SOLVANG
But a driver’s license of course doesn’t last for thirty years.
CYRUS
He can’t get the license in D.C. — it’ll have to be his permanent residence, Hawthorne, Indiana.
HOVERMANN
How would we arrange that? We’re in D.C.

CYRUS
Washington’s not his permanent address. If the press found out
he claimed that, it could lead to trouble, especially since he hasn’t announced
SOLVANG
If we could get into the computer in Indiana — but motor vehicles Don’t we know anybody in motor vehicles in Indian — •
SAM ANDERSON
(slow burn)
I haven’t got a driver’s license because I am not allowed to drive
a personal vehicle for reasons of national security — though who knows what the hell is so secure
in this world — And since the government has decreed this, I think the government might have
the grace to aid me in this regard — I mean, it occurs to me that with the Pentagon’s ninety thousand two hundred thirteen employees, State’s sixty thousand,” the F.B.I.’s one hundred and ten thousand __
part of whose jop is to specialize in creating appropriate documents
– when we’ve got courts jammed with false documents got by two-bit criminals stretching from here to Mars — SOMEBODY could get me a driver’s license so I can get in
a goddamn car and go and see my girl! !~
PETER
I can get you one, Dad.
They all turn to him.
PETER
Jake’s brother has a false ID so he can go to Georgetown and pick up college girls. You get them
at the arcade. You want me to get you one? Fifty cents.
They ponder this.

27

HOVERMANN (quietly)
I can ask a personal favor of Wilson at State. I trust him.
SAM ANDERSON
Thank you.
CYRUS
Mister President
Sam turns to him.
CYRUS
– I hope I’m not putting my career on the line
SOLVANG
The President’s doing that for you, Cyrus — •
SAM: Hears this, ignores it, but hears it.
CYRUS (carefully)
But what if the lady says no.
They all turn to him. Whoever says no to Sam Anderson? And yet –
SAM ANDERSON What did you say?
CYRUS (gulps, reddens)
What if — she rejects your proposal?
PETER
Dad’s gonna make her an offer she can’t refuse.
SAM ANDERSON
Yes Peter, that’s my hope but ••• women usually don’t respond to threats as reliably as mobsters do.
(a breath)
Therefore, that’s a possibility.
SOLVANG
If you were somehow to succeed in getting there without being detected — which is possible, since there is a certain number of the population who probably still think Bush is President.
(MORE)

28

SOLVANG (CONT)
– If you were to reach her, propose to her, and be rejected •••
HOVERMANN

It would be a knife in the heart of your Presidency.
SAM ANDERSON
Is that why you’re asking? Not occurring to you the effect her saying no might have on my ••.
Sam trails off.
CYRUS
– All benefits which might accrue from your bold, romantic and adventuresome move would reverse themselves to liabilities.
SOLVANG
The polls would kill you.
HOVERMANN
Think of the headline: President turned down, caught out of the White House with his pants down, so to speak, and — •
Sam turns to Peter.
SAM ANDERSON
Peter, this concludes White House Politics lOI. I want you to go to your room like we said __
(looks over at the Men) while I tell these three gentlemen just where to sit when they ride on these upcoming poles.
PETER
Okay.
He crosses to the door. Sam is about to speak once more when Peter turns back.
PETER
Will I have to call her Mom?
SAM ANDERSON
Well, her given name is Catherine. I’m sure the two of you can work that out together. If we get the chance.

29

Giving him a “thumbs up,” Peter leaves.
Sam looks at the others.
SAM ANDERSON
Amazing. The four of us have faced some tough situations since my inauguration, but I’ve never seen any of you this scared. Do I appear to be a dangerous person to you? Some kind of threat, or obstacle?
THE THREE: Stare at him.
SAM ANDERSON
Then why do you look at me as if I’m Abul Nabul? Am I merely a political being? If so, I’m a walking historical artifact __ nothing more — certainly not an evolving, evolutionary, biological being — No wait, I’m not going off the deep end here __ •
He crosses to a pile of books at the base of the couch, where he’s been doing “research.” The three observe the President of the United States rummaging through pages like a graduate student.
SAM ANDERSON
(opens book, reads)
“Our happiness is not an ordinary matter of young lovers; it is, for me, a matter of efficiency.
I am absolutely dependent on intimate love for the right and free and most effective use of
my powers. Love, personal love, is the one thing a man’s heart cannot do without.”
CYRUS
President Woodrow Wilson’s love letters. Great.
SAM ANDERSON
– At the height of the bloodiest war in all history. We men do need our women from time to time, do we not?

30

SOLVANG
Forgive me, but I gave up a very lucrative position in the private sector thinking you intended to both be and stay the President, sir.

31

What?

SAM ANDERSON

SLVANG
I do not think this is a win-win situation.
SAM ANDERSON
Good God, if I am denied because of questionable theories or possibilities or press reaction the ability to be all that I am, or who I am, as a human, feeling being, then how can I possibly represent the human feelings of tens of millions of beings? Don’t you see, the best I can do for
my country is equal to the best
I can do for myself? If the goal is greatness, for me and you and this administration — which is only a blink in the long list of forward-moving administrations __ then I’ve got to strive for the heights — I’ve got to at least prepare myself for the possibility that I — like you, Cyrus, or you Ben, or you, Reggie — that I could be the hundredth monkey!
Now he’s done it. He can tell by the looks on their faces they’re not au courant on the hundredth monkey theories. He can tell explaining it would be to lengthy and probably counter-productive. He can tell that they probably think he’s lost it. But what really frightens him: he doesn’t care.
SAM ANDERSON
(a little patiently)
The hundredth monkey is not a-­creature. It’s just the theory that we can learn from each other in simultaneously evolutionary ways, as opposed to legislating laws alone or — or — •
He turns to the desk, starts collecting a pile of small volumes into his briefcase, as if preparing to end the meeting.

HOVERMANN
We’ll not abandon you, Mister President.
SAM ANDERSON I expect you won’t.
He turns from them, starts for the door.
CYRUS
We’ll stay in touch — using the Football as you suggested
SAM ANDERSON
(packing up)
If any problem arises, Ellsworth Air Force Base is right out of Rapid City. I’ll call there, they’ll get me home — My temporary home. Though I don’t expect much to happen. The weather’s nice __
I expect most of Washington’s out sunning themselves by now. I’m
sorry you won’t have that opportunity this weekend, but I’ll make it
up to you. Somehow.
He crosses to the door.
CYRUS
How will you get out?
SAM ANDERSON
~hrough the door — like everybody else.
SOLVANG Mister President.
Turns back.
SOLVANG
Good luck.
SAM ANDERSON
Call me Sam. I’ve gone underground till this time tomorrow.
SOLVANG Good luck ••• Sam.
CYRUS
Send Cynthia our regards •••

32

Sam has left the room.
CYRUS
Christ — I meant Catherine!
HOVERMANN The hundredth monkey.
SOLVANG (wry)
Not impossible. He’s just made three of us already •••
EXT. BETTYJACK’S BED AND BREAKFAST. MOUNT RUSHMORE. DAY.
It’s a two-storey wooden main house with cabins out back, all rustic yet neat, Swiss-inspired, with stately fir trees surrounding, it left behind by the art directors
of North by Northwest.
Just now Catherine is heading towards the rear cabins with a fresh stack of towels. Suddenly TWO GIRL TOURISTS FROM PHILADELPHIA run screaming towards her from Cabin 5.
PHILADELPHIAGIRL
There’s an animal eating our room!
CATHERINE
Is there?
Rather unhurriedly, she walks to the cabin door, looks inside briefly, then turns back to them.
CATHERINE
I’ll only be a minute. Then we’ll move you to Cabin 6 — it’s actually got a better view anyway.
She shuts the door.
INT. CABIN 5. DAY.
Catherine turns angrily about the cabin. It’s a mess. Blankets, pillows, toilet paper, kitchen articles strewn everywhere, helter skelter.
Now Catherine turns to the kitchenette, spotting someone.
CATHERINE
You. You vile beast, you nasty sneak, you flea-bitten old bag of bones — •

33

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• Statement from William Richert Re: Sorkin theft of ‘President’, ‘West Wing’
• What Every Writer Should Know: Why the WGA may not be good for writers
• Letter from Sally Burmester of WGA
• Sorkin letter to Sally Burmester, WGA, claiming ownership of ‘President’, ‘Wing’